not to us

Well, the holidays are over...and I sooooo wish they weren't!  :)  Many, many, many things were sitting on the back burner until the turn of the new year.  And now?  I'm so terrified that I'm nearly paralyzed.

I not literally scared, but it just seems to be the right word.  I feel anxious, worried, unsure, overwhelmed, lacking faith, and ready to run.  I even considered finding a job and putting the kids in daycare.  Then, I remembered that all of my currently responsibilities wouldn't go away.  They'd simply be in addition to any career-related responsibilities.  Ugh.

We have a lot going on right now.  The "business" part of our household is quite demanding at this time.  (By business, I mean the bills that need to be paid and the general home maintenance that needs to be accomplished.)

Our insurance company sent me a few odd EOB's over the weekend, and it's got me a bit anxious.  I'll be calling tomorrow to find out exactly what all the jargon means.  Until then, however, I'm left feeling uptight and unsettled.

We've also recently realized that Mike made enough with Red Leaf Media to bump us up into a new tax bracket this year.  While that is a huge blessing in many respects, it changes the outlook of our taxes.  We'd been withholding according to a certain expectation, and now we're going to be taxed at a higher percentage.  Unfortunately, that higher percentage doesn't come only out of Mike's Red Leaf income, it comes out of his entire year's salary.  So...I'm trying to get that all figured out and make sure we're not liable for any fees or penalties from the good ol' IRS.  Needless to say, that's got me stressed...A LOT.

Our old house will be occupied by a new tenant starting on February 1st, and there are quite a bit of tasks that need to be accomplished for that to happen.  We need to get our final belongings out of the house.  We need to transfer the utilities into her name.  We need to clean the place really well, so that she has a nice fresh home.  It'll be quite a job to get accomplished in the next couple of weeks.

Several months ago, Mike's employer changed their pay schedule from monthly to bi-monthly.  I know that a lot of people prefer more frequent paychecks, but it has totally messed me up!!  The monthly paycheck was so easy to budget and keep track of.  Now, I feel like I've lost all bearing on our income v. expenses.  (Not to mention we bought a house and had to invest quite a bit up front to get it in order!)  We're buckling down in order to save up again and replenish what we spent on the house.  As such, we're resolved to eat the vast majority of our meals at home.  I need to figure out how to meal plan and properly grocery shop.  (Losers, remind me that I was doing this really well about a year ago!)

The kids' playroom has sort of exploded into a massive mess of train tracks, doll bottles, puzzle pieces, books, and other childlike paraphernalia.  I've *got* to figure out a toy storage and organization solution.  The mess drives me crazy!

The laundry is kind of caught up.  Only our laundry from this past weekend is left to be washed, folded, and put away.  However, on top of everything else, that little task feels monumental.

If you're still reading, I'm amazed.  :)  This has mostly just been a download for my mind.  It's 1:19 a.m., and I'm wired.  All of these things are swirling around in my head, and I can't get to sleep.  I once read that emptying your mind helps you go to sleep.  Whether you write your thoughts on paper or type them into the computer, it sort of assures your brain that the list has been recorded.  Then, your brain is better able to shut down and take a rest.

I'm not sure if it's true, but I needed to try something!  :)  I'll let you know in the morning if this helped or not.

And, if you're still with me, would you send up some prayers for me?  Strength.  Motivation.  Perseverance.  Organization.  Peace.  Those are the things I'm needing at this time.  :)  Thank you!