not to us

Dear Ruby,

It's been exactly one month since you turned five years old. And I can honestly say that you are a completely different girl. From very simple silly things like being able to color almost perfectly inside the lines or getting better and better at writing and spelling to making such mature, selfless, and helpful decisions that you make your momma cry tears of happiness instead of frustration.

Last month, I was at a loss. We were at odds, and I didn't know what to do. But we worked it out, kiddo. You and me.

Sometimes with tears. Sometimes with frustration. But most of the time with calm words and lots of love.

And you know what? I'm pretty proud of us for that.

We're not perfect yet or anything, but our days are filled laughter and smiles much more than conflict.

Yesterday, I was cleaning up the house, and I asked if you'd help when you were finished coloring. You colored for about five more seconds and then you said, "Momma, I really want to color more, but I think it would be more loving if I stopped now and helped you clean up. I can always color later."

No joke, kiddo. You said those exact words. And you proceeded to put action to your words. You picked up all the books and toys. You folded the blankets that were sitting out. Even after I thanked you for helping and excused you from helping, you persisted. You just kept inventing things to do to "help" me. I'd never seen the drawings and magnets on our fridge so straight and organized. ;)

You've been memorizing James with me. You're especially stuck on the verses that talk about favoritism. We've been discussing the importance of treating everyone with love and mercy, no matter what. We've been trying to practice by treating each other with love and kindness, even when we're frustrated or upset.

You've had a growth spurt over the past month, too. It's a good thing the weather will be warming up soon, because your leggings are turning into capris. ;) You're not allowed to be on your knees on your top bunk anymore, either, because (even sitting on your heels) you're center of balance is well above the guard rail. Your bottom is the safest choice.

I'm just completely in awe of you, Roo. I love watching you grow and change and learn. You're incredible, kiddo. I'm so excited to keep growing with you, my sweet daughter.

I love you more than you love princesses, fairies, ballerinas, and mermaids all put together! That's a whole stinkin' lot, Roobadoo! ;)

I'll see you in the morning, okay? I think I'll take you on a girls' date to see Annie, too. How does that sound?

Good? Good. It's a date.

Is there anything you can do that would make me stop loving you? :) Nope. Not a single thing. Don't ever forget that, okay?

Always,
~Momma

(Just imagine me saying/chanting that title in the spirit of "Weapon of Choice" by FatBoySlim.)

Now, on to the important stuff...and the not-so-important stuff.  :)  This is shaping up to be one of those rambly, train-of-thought types of posts.  I'll try to start with the important things, so I don't lose you too soon.  ;)

First up - I've been invited to go on a mission trip to Uruguay in March.  In order for me to go, we'd need to have someone who could be responsible for Ruby and Burke the week of March 5 - March 9.  (There's a high probability that Mike will be traveling a lot during the first quarter of the year, so we would need someone who would be able to keep Ruby and Burke overnight, if needed.)  If you have any suggestions, let us know.  (Obviously, we're looking for someone that we know and trust.)  I'd really appreciate prayers for guidance about whether to go on the trip or not.

You can also pray specifically for Mike and me as parents.  We seem to be dealing with a resurrection of sorts...the resurrection of the Terrible Twos and the Terrifying Threes all combined into some horrifyingly scary edition of the Frightening Fives.  You may think I'm exaggerating wtih all the terrible and the terrifying and the scary and the frightening, but y'all.  I've been reduced to tears on multiple occasions in the past three weeks.  (Honest, gut-wrenching, I'm-failing-as-a-parent tears...)  So if you'd pray for me, that'd be great.  And parents of children who are five and older, if you've got similar experiences or any advice, bring it on!

In the "pros" column, we are seeing a lot of bright spots in Ruby's development, too.  She can now spell and write several words other than her name without any help.  She's recognizing a few sight words without prompting.  She got a kid's camera for Christmas, and she's got quite an eye for a five year old.  :)  There are times when she makes incredibly mature decisions, and she's beginning to show a concrete understanding of faith in Jesus Christ.

Being a parent is a rollercoaster of emotions: insanely proud in one moment and crippled with doubt in the next.  I wouldn't trade a second.

Burke is turning into quite the little talker.  He's constantly making up some sort of pretend circumstances for playtime.  He's Perry.  Or he's Phineas.  Or he's a baby.  Or he's a cat who says, "Memow."  He uses his blocks to make towers, monster trucks, guns, racetracks, or some other totally boyish contraption.  He loves to wrestle and climb.  He's been 100% potty-trained for many months now, and he just seems like such a big boy.

And now for the random:

Ruby and Burke get a little stopped up every now and then, if you know what I mean.  It happens most often when we go to grandparents' houses...mostly because we're out of the norm and the kids get a lot of snacks that aren't necessarily fiber-filled.  ;)  Last week, my mom gave Ruby and Burke some "poop candy."  Magic words for prunes.  She refrigerated them and cut them up into quarters.  Call something candy, and my kids are very willing to give it a try.  Amazingly, they'll gladly eat two prunes and beg for more, if the prunes are chilled and cut up.  

Let me just say that my kids are regular beyond regular now.  We had to cut them back from 2 prunes/day to 1.5 prunes/day.  They are now down to 1 prune/day in order to ward off panicked cries of, "I've gotta go NOW, Mom!!!"  ;)  If your kids get stopped up, try some chilled Sunsweet Prunes cut into quarters.  

Just be careful if you call them poop candy.  Because when you walk by prunes in the grocery store, your kids are very likely to scream at the top of their lungs, "POOP CANDY!!!  Mom! Mom!  Can we get some more?!?!?"  ;)

Lastly, I ate a salad for dinner.  I didn't want to, but I did.  Baby steps, people.  Baby steps.

Goodnight.  :)

This summer, I've come up against a parenting issue that, up to this point, I haven't given any thought: Athletics.

Just a couple of months ago, we asked Ruby if she would like to play t-ball.  (We were at a friend's t-ball game.)  When she said no, we asked her if she'd like to play other sports: soccer, basketball, track, tennis, dance, etc...  Still, she said she wasn't interested.  When we asked her what she'd like to do, she answered, "I think I'll just like to read a lot.  I will read a lot of books, I think."

Okay.  I'm down with that choice.  As long as she gets a good amount of physical activity in each day, I don't care if she ever handles a single ball or joins any type of team.

But this summer...man!  She has taken to the water like a fish!

She *loves* to go to the pool.  Every morning she wakes up and asks, "Are we going to the pool today?"  She's constantly pretending to be taking swim lessons or pretending to have a swim race.  She *loves* it when she can convince one of the older kids to actually race against her.

And yesterday she did this:

After this video, I spent about five minutes showing her how to breathe from the side.  Then she took off across the pool, breathing and all.  She swims the freestyle in a completely straight line, and she swims it faster than I can wade through the water beside her...even though she's only been swimming freestyle (arms and legs) for six days.  She dives for diving sticks in the deep end up to 5 ft.  She jumps off the diving board.  The other day, she told me she was going to "swim like a bird" and she swam the butterfly stroke.  I'm not kidding.

Clearly, there is some very raw, very natural talent in her little body.  Talent that can help her be healthy.  Talent that can help her have a sense of purpose during her childhood.  Talent that could, eventually, help pay for college, if she chooses to go that route.

What do we do now?  Do we call a local swim coach and get her involved in advanced lessons for technique?  Do we just wait a year or two until she's a little older?  

I'm honestly not sure.  She's so young, and swimming can be an intense sport.  My coaches were hardcore.  She's already so competitive and perfection-driven that I'm worried about how she'll handle a sport like this: where your only competition is yourself...where you can always, always do better, so it's hard to gauge when/if you've done your best.

Or maybe I'm just thinking about it too much.  (Surprise, surprise...)

So, that's my question of the day:  If you had a four year old who could freestyle and butterfly without any formal training, what would you do?

Mike, Ruby, and Burke got me a Barnes&Noble giftcard for Mother's Day.  They certainly know the way into this woman's heart!!  :)  Of course, like many mothers I know, the minute I went to use my gift card, I found myself desiring to spend the money on my family instead.  (I don't know if I've ever used that many commas in a sentence before.  Ever.  Is that sentence even grammatically correct?  Kirsten?  Anyone?)

Anyway...

Ruby has been asking me to teach her to read for quite some time.  I've known for several years that I wanted to use the BOB Books to teach her the basics of reading.  They are quite pricey, so I've wanted to wait until I was sure she would use them.

Tonight, as I walked passed them on the shelf, I figured I'd give her a test run and see if she was ready.

With a little bit of teaching from me, she read the entire first book, "Mat."  

Now, I'll admit that "Mat" only contains four words: Mat, sat, Sam, and on.  Those words are arranged, rearranged, and repeated to make a 23-word story about two friends who sit on each other.  No, I'm not kidding.  ;)

Nonetheless, it's a book.  And Ruby read it.  I won't lie: I teared up as she sounded out these words and read them.

When she finished reading the book, she looked up at me with golf-ball sized eyes:

"MOM! I. just. read. a. whole. book."

"I know, honey!  That's great!"

"MOM! I'm the first four-year-old girl EVER to read a whole book!"

I chuckled and informed her that her mother actually began reading at the age of four, as well.  Apparently being (at least) the second four-year-old girl to ever read a whole book didn't dampen her excitement.  She insisted on calling her grandparents to tell them the news.

And that's the beauty of BOB Books.  They are embarrassingly short and easy to read...but they encourage the new reader by instantly giving them a HUGE accomplishment: reading an entire book all by themselves!  :)

Anyway, when we got home, Ruby was happy to read "Mat" for the camera.  She still struggles a bit with "Sam", since it's not the same "a" sound as "Mat."  She's figuring it out, though.

I'm telling you what: Seeing my daughter read her first book was the best Mother's Day gift I could have ever gotten...totally worth using my gift card on her.  :)

(As a disclaimer, BOB Books has no idea that I've written this post.  They are not compensating me in any way, shape, or form.  This is purely a Mom relentlessly bragging about her daughter's most recent accomplishment.)