Posts tagged with "tv"
Plot
The office is involved in a Dunder Mifflin weight loss competition. Pam goes off to art school. Jim and Pam get engaged. The office loses the competition.
Quotes
- "This is where my parents decided to not get divorced." (Andy talking about where he wants to get married)
- "I learned that she's allergic to sesame seeds...and has a butt that won't quit." (Michael talking to Jim about his new crush)
- "I've replaced Angela as head of the party planning committee. I guess I was in the right place at the right time." (Phyllis talking about blackmail of Angela)
- "I once went 28 years without sex, and another 7 after that." (Michael)
- "I don't want you to end up with a surprise pregnancy like me." (Michael as he throws a condom to Jim)
- "Happy Birthday Stanley!" (Dwight as he kicks over Stanley's birthday cake)
- "Kelly and I are the only ones who have passed out or almost passed out." (Michael getting frustrated that they're not losing weight)
- "I wonder what people like about me...probably my jugs." (Phyllis talking about herself)
- "Andy Bernard does not lose contests; he wins them, or quits because they're unfair." (Andy talking about not losing the weight loss contest)
Plot (Don't read if you haven't watched yet)
Toby is leaving the office for good. Michael wants to plan a big party. Toby has to train a new HR woman. Pam gets accepted into design school. The new girl thinks that Kevin is mentally handicapped, and he doesn't do anything to make her think otherwise. Ryan gives Jim a hard time, but Jim decides to fight back. Ryan gets arrested for fraud, and it's on YouTube. Toby's party is pretty big. Jan is pregnant! Andy proposes to Angela, right before Jim was going to ask Pam. As the show closes, Phyllis walks in on Angela and Dwight getting down in the office with the lights off. Yuck!
Quotes
- "We have a butter cream cake and a slideshow of Toby. But so far we only have two photos of Toby." (Angela talking about Toby's party)
- "Lately she's been sending me nine or ten checks a year" (Michael talking about his crazy grandmother sending him birthday cards)
- "That is the first time I've ever used the word perfect in here." (Pam talking about design school)
- "She stinks with her....ways...and her....head." (Dwight talking about the new HR person)
- "We need to sell her an elevator pass" (Michael planning to mess with the HR person)
- "He tortored me with his awfulness" (Michael talking about Toby)
- "Not all monsters are bad...like ET." (Michael saying stupid stuff about the new HR lady)
- "Hazing is a fun way to show a new employee that she is unwelcome and not liked." (Dwight to new HR rep after telling her that Kevin is mentally hanidcapped and part of a special employee program)
- "I am downloading some......n......3........p........music" (Michael to Jim)
- "Love at first see....with my ears" (Michael about the HR lady, Holly)
- "I like pretzels, but I really like chips." (Kevin trying to decide what to eat)
- "I am now his cruise director, and my name is Captain Bruisin." (Michael talking about the exit interview with Toby)
- "Suck on this!" (The rock that Michael gave Toby)
- "Who thought it would be hysterical to give Toby a rock?...You did...You had me write it." (Michael and Dwight)
- "The real crime I think...was the beard" (Oscar after explaining how Ryan got arrested for fraud)
- "Holly is sweet and simple, like a lady baker. I'm pretty sure that she's baked on a professional level." (Michael)
- "That's what she....a lot of places are like that." (Michael showing restraint)
- "I've done 'Beers in Heaven' and 'Total Ecclipse of the Fart'." (Michael on stage at the party)
- "You cheated on me, when I specifically asked you not to?" (Michael to Jan)
- "I'm going to be...kind of a daddy." (Michael talking about Jan's pregnancy)
I'm going to try to get back in the swing of adding "The Office" quotes each week.
Plot
Michael, Oscar, Pam and Darrel go the job fair at the local high school. Andy, Jim, and Kevin go golfing with a client. Dwight and Angela stay in the office while the rest skip out.
Quotes
- "You could be a classy janitor, or a cashier with dignity or a migraine worker." (Michael talking to a student that he didn't like)
- "Kids are very wary of being wooed these days. Thank you Dateline." (Michael talking about "wooing" students to be interns)
- "Shortcut!...I fell in the sandtrap." (Andy, after wrecking his golf cart while "racing" to the next hole)
- "Count me in. Nope. Alright." (Andy getting shot down when he wants to join the client in future golf games)
- "H&R Block. Come on. I don't even know what they do." (Michael talking about other businesses)
- "Boooooooow woooow wow" (Andy and Kevin while Pam kisses Jim)
- "Kiss her. Kiss her good." (Michael with a very awkward statement while Jim and Pam kiss)
Stanley while Michael is testing a dummy at his desk to make it look like he’s there even when he’s not:
“I don’t understand while sleeping at your desk is better than not being here.”
Dwight while trying to pee in a cup in the car:
“I think I cut my penis on the lid.”
Dwight while they’re about to pull a prank on another branch and he’s contemplating hurting a guard:
“The eyes are the groin of the head”
Michael trying to write a want ad to replace Stanley:
WANTED: middle-aged black man with sass”
Andy singing the best jingle ever in his opinion…which he can’t remember:
Give me a break, give me a break. Break me off a piece of that __________.
Michael introducing his staff to the commercial guys (paraphrase):
Stanley = urban
Michael doing more intros:
“Phyllis, like our Mrs. Buttersworth”
Dwight while playing a game on his computer:
Second life is not a game, it’s a multiplayer virtual environment...It doesn’t have winners or losers.
Jim (response to Dwight):
Oh it has losers.
Michael:
I was five years old. I couldn’t even talk yet.
Michael after calling Ryan a curse word then finding out he was on the line:
What’s up my brotha’?!
Andy finally thinking he figured out the jingle:
Break me off a piece of that FAN-CY FEAST. It’s a cat food. Nailed it!
Michael about how well he would do in India to a co-worker at the call center:
“I would have been chief of surgery or a cowboy”
Michael after he yells “BANKRUPTCY” in the office and is told that saying it won’t help anything:
“I didn’t just say it. I declared it.”
That’s all I’ve got this week. It wasn’t that great of an episode.
We love watching “The Office”. I decided that if I’m near my computer, I will post the funniest quotes each week. Here’s this week’s, from Kevin about this pizza place that he hates:
It’s like eating a hot circle of garbage.
Back to working on my OP…It’s coming along well, or so I think.
I said from the beginning that I think he’s going to win. Last night’s performance was sweet…
In honor of 24 starting on Sunday night, I’m going to post some nice new Jack Bauer quotes. I am unashamedly ripping these off of Emily Johnson’s blog. I filtered her list down to the ones I find most funny:
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade. Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men. Every mathematical inequality officially ends with “< Jack Bauer”.
There you have it. Hilarious!
Last night, one of our favorite shows, 24, took home several key Emmy awards, including best drama and best actor. Congrats to everyone who’s involved in the show…not that any of them read this ( :
“Jack Bauer doesn’t get wet; water gets Jack Bauer!“
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