not to us

My sweetest Lydia,

Happy Birthday!  I cannot believe it has been an entire year since I held you in my arms.  I still remember your beautiful tiny body.  The first time I held Burke, do you know what I thought?  I thought, "Oh my goodness!  He's so much bigger than Lydia!"  It's true.  Even as I held my own precious little baby, your memory was right there with me.

When I sat by his incubator, I couldn't help but ask God, "Why?  Why does he get to live?  Why didn't she?"  I have been very honest with God over this past year, sweet girl.  You have pushed my faith to levels that I didn't know I could reach.  Your mommy's journey paved the way for me.  I wouldn't be where I am today, if you hadn't been born.

One year ago, God used you and your mommy to teach me several incredible lessons.  My life was very truly changed, because I got the chance to know you and love you.  Thank you.  I promise I will never forget you, and I will honor you by remembering the lessons that came at the price of your life.

I love you, precious baby Lydia.
~Lindsay

Did you know are one of my heroes?  One year ago, I watched you walk a road of faith that was harder than any journey I'd ever personally witnessed.  And you had only been following Christ for less than a year.  I was inspired and awed.  I watched closely.

You always tell me that you learn so much from me, but what you don't realize is that I've learned so much from you.  You walked the road before I did.  You laid the blueprint.  You finished the journey and kept your faith, even in the face of the outcome that we hoped against.  You showed me an example of true faith.

When it was my turn to be tested, I could look back on your experience.  I was doubly blessed to have you at my side, encouraging me and uplifting me.

You are truly amazing, and I'm thankful to call you my friend.  My prayer is that you will be blessed with the memories of your daughter today.

Thank you for letting God use you to impact my life.  Every single person who has been impacted by my walk of faith with Burke has been reached because you first reached me.  Lydia has an amazing legacy, and it's only just begun.

I love you.
~Lindsay

Today marks the one-year time span since Lydia Grace Focosi entered, and subsequently left, our lives.  To read her story, you can visit Lydia's website.  To see what an impact she had on my life, you can read my memorial post.

Please pray for Lydia's family today.  It will be a day full of mixed emotion.  Pray that God is incredibly near to them, supporting them and encouraging them today.

Thank you.
~Lindsay