not to us

Have you ever talked with a friend, read a blog post, or seen a FB status update that made you think, "Get real!  There's no way that's the whole story."?  (Can one of my friends gifted in grammar please help me with the proper way to punctuate that sentence/question?  I'm totally baffled, and it's messing with my blogging groove.  So let me start over...)

"Get real!  There's no way that's the whole story."

I can't tell you the number of times that thought has rolled through my brain after talking with a friend, reading a blog post, or seeing a FB status.  And sometimes, the thought sticks.  I can look past the "perfect woman" and realize, with certainty, that it's not the whole story.  She may be having an abundantly wonderful day, but that doesn't mean her life is perfect.  When that happens, it frees me to rejoice in my friend's good day and move on with my own (wonderful/average/terrible) day.

But other times?  Other times?  The thought doesn't stick.  I start to think, "Is that really the whole story?  How the *heck* does she do it??"

"And why can't I?"

Good gracious golly.  That's where the destruction begins.  If I'm having a wonderful day, then the destruction is minimal.  I'm thankful to be having a good day, as well.  If I'm having an average day, the destruction is moderate.  My average day begins to feel below average, at best.  And if I'm having a terrible day?  I just get pushed down further.  My spirit feels completely discouraged.

There's a reason for that.  It's a lie.  And lies entrap us.

Jesus said, "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."  (John 8:32)  He was specifically talking about himself.  The truth of his ministry and his message.  But I'm pretty sure Jesus would agree that general truth is very good and freeing, as well.  During his time, there was a group of people who pretended they were perfect.  They put on airs and donned masks.  And Jesus couldn't stand it.

He couldn't stand it, because it not only deceived them of their true condition, but it deceived (and discouraged) those around them.

We need to remember that.  When we put on a face or don masks, we trap ourselves and we discourage others.  As hard as it is, we've *got* to get real.

By all means, share the good!  Today, Mike stayed home and took care of the kids.  I am so thankful for a job with benefits that include sick time.  I'm so thankful for a husband who doesn't even bat an eye, when I ask him to come home and help me.

Share the bad, too.  I was really sick today.  I felt horrible.  Miserable.  But even worse?  Mike and I are wading through some big decisions right now.  And we're not totally on the same page.  Today, I'd say were a couple of pages apart.  But last week?  We were in different chapters.  And it wasn't good.  It wasn't fun.  He left for a business trip while we were frustrated wtih each other.  That sucks so bad.  And I especially hate that I wasn't especially supportive of him before he left.  And he wasn't super supportive of me, either.

We have our moments, good and bad.  You see a lot of the good on here, but I try to show you some of the bad, too.  And I try (as hard as I can) not to sugar coat it too much.  But I'm not perfect.

Sometimes I sugarcoat it with pure motives: I don't want to sound like I'm whining or I don't want to be discouraging.

Other times, it's a little more convoluted: I don't want a certain reader (or a certain group of readers) to know a certain detail about my life or I don't want to face criticism.

There's a time and place for censorship, certainly.  I hope to never, ever get on here and post the nitty-gritty details of an argument Mike and I have just had.  No good would come of that.  But I do hope to give you an accurate view of our marriage:  We love each other greatly.  We strive to be as unselfish as possible towards each other.  But we're not there yet.  We still have our selfish moments.  Our impatient moments.  Our unloving moments.  But on the whole?  Marriage is good...right now.  ;)

I don't know how it will be in six months.  Or a year.  It could be rough.  And if it is?  I'm committed to sharing that with you.  Because the last time I went through something hard, I was honest.  And a whole lotta good came out of it.  ;)

Not only that, but being honest keeps me balanced.  I have a clearer view of myself.  I remember that I'm nowhere near perfect, but I remember that God says I have value.  Balance is good.  :)

So, take a chance.  Commit to be as honestly as you possibly can be with your friends and acquaintances.  You might realize some amazing freedom.  And the people around you might feel like their grade went up a few points...

(This isn't all there is to the story.  In actuality, it's a pretty small part.  But I think it's a crucial part.  I think it's where we've got to start.  Make sure you stay tuned to see what else I've been learning.  I'm finding some freedom and breathing room...and I hope you do, too.)