not to us

Eight days ago, I published a blog post about my most recent experience with Depression. The response was completely overwhelming. A thousand people read the post, and more than 100 of them sent me an e-mail or message on FB letting me know that they were also facing similar feelings and thoughts. Another fifty people contacted me to give encouragement and show their concern. And tons of people prayed for me. For a few days, I received more "likes" on my Facebook posts and photos than ever before, and several friends offered to help in their own unique ways.

On Monday, we launched a big project at work. I spent the week coordinating meetings, sending out e-mails, writing blog posts, and promoting the project. It kept me busy...and distracted.

Between the support and the busy-ness, I started feeling better almost immediately after I wrote the blog post. It helped *so* much that, on Tuesday morning, I could barely tell that I'd even "been depressed" in the first place. That feeling lasted for several days, and I wondered if I had simply over-reacted and given in to my more dramatic tendencies. I started to feel foolish for "sounding the alarm."

But the weekend came, and things calmed down. I didn't need to do much for work, and the response from friends and family had died down. All of a sudden, I found myself thinking again. About life, about the future, about my self-worth... That's all it took to remember that something really is broken. Once the distractions were gone, the irrational sadness came back with a vengence.

And that's a good thing. Because Depression cannot be cured with kind words and busy-ness.

Depression is real. It is physical. It is emotional. More than anything, however, it is spiritual.

Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." (NIV) Or "I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." (John 10:10b)

So why am I not experiencing a full life, better than I ever dreamed? Because of John 10:10a.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy."

When I feel like my joy has been stolen? That's a spiritual issue.

When I feel like my dreams are dead? That's a spiritual issue.

When I feel like my future is destroyed? That's a spiritual issue.

Because it's completely untrue. My joy is not based in the blessings I receive, but in the blessings I can pass on. My dreams might be dead, but that's because God is making way for His plan (one meant to give full life...to me and to others!). And my future is far from destroyed. My future was decided long, long ago when Jesus Christ died on the cross to give me freedom and the power to share that freedom with others.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12

We can cure some of the symptoms of Depression with the things of this world. But we cannot cure Depression until we go to the Healer.

Last week, I took a few steps (including starting on some depression medication) to fight the symptoms of Depression from a worldly standpoint.

This week, I'm focusing on battling the spiritual forces that are the root of my Depression. Your prayers are still very much appreciated.