I've wanted to be a mom for as long as I can possibly remember. I truly can't think of a moment in my life when I didn't want to be a mom. I used to daydream about soft, squishy, sweet smelling little babies. I've always hoped for a home filled with the laughter of children. I look forward to spelling tests, sports events, graduation, weddings, grandchildren. In a fairly twisted way, I even look forward to smugly smiling on the inside while I watch you make a (non-life-ruining) boneheaded decision that I specifically warned you against. ;)
In all my daydreaming and hoping, I really didn't quite understand the true task of motherhood.
It's a lot, you guys. It's completely overwhelming and, at times, terrifying. Every choice I make feels like it will have an eternal impact on your life. And I don't make those choices on a whim...or take them lightly. And that's just the high-level theorhetical parts of parenting. The day-to-day stuff? Have mercy! It's overwhelming and terrifying, too!
But here's the thing: It's all worth it. Every single minute...the ones that make me tear up with gratitude *and* the ones that make me want to tear my hair out...are worth the work.
I love you two more than I can express. I hope you will always, always know that.