Sometimes, the Steelers wear stupid uniforms, and your Colts lose by a couple dozen points.
Sometimes, life just feels sucky.
I didn't say that it *is* sucky, because life doesn't have to *be* sucky to *feel* sucky. That's the silly thing about emotions.
Sometimes, they take the truth and twist it around.
Lately, my emotions have been twisting me up inside until I was feeling like my beautiful life was sucky.
And, since things are *really* stressful at work for my husband, I was trying to keep it all in. I was trying to put on a smiley face and support him through this time. But I was failing. It was inevitable that the yuck would spew out at some point, but, it was leaking out little by little and kinda making me and everyone around me miserable.
Last night? I just let it out. I felt the yuck, and I didn't fake it.
I railed against the Steelers for their stupid costumes. I railed against the Colts for their (lack of) defense and their impotent offensive line. I railed against 60 Minutes for an hour special on *one* American Ebola patient instead of an hour special on *thousands* of West African Ebola patients. I was just in a miserable mood.
So, eventually, I just put my arms around my husband and asked him to hug me. Then, I cried on his shoulder. We talked, and we agreed that life just feels sucky right now. But that doesn't mean it is sucky. We reminded each other that we have each other, and we really love each other. We reminded ourselves that we have Ruby and Burke, and we really love Ruby and Burke. We reminded ourselves that we're actively pursuing things that matter to us, which means that, undoubtedly, we'll go through ups and downs. But the downs don't last forever...we just have to be diligent and patient. So we made love and went to sleep.
This morning, I woke up feeling so much better. The dishes are done, the laundry's being caught up, and I'm getting ready to tackle the papers that are threatening to overtake our apartment.
Sometimes, you just need to be honest and feel what you feel. Tell someone how you're feeling, and let them share your burden. I promise, it will help.