Ruby's birth story

Ruby,
On Wednesday, January 24, 2007 your mother and I went off to work like normal. She dropped me off at the chemistry building at Purdue on her way to Paul and Lynne’s home (where she nannied for Anja). I went about my day like normal, and mom came to pick me up at 5:45. We headed to church where Mom taught the “Heart to Heart” women’s class and I helped play guitar for the youth. On the way there she told me about how she had been leaking some fluids all day. That was out of the normal, so I was a little worried. However, your mom was convinced that it was nothing. She shared what was happening with a few women at church and they suggested that we go to the hospital to ensure that it was nothing.
We stayed through the whole two hours of church, but mom reluctantly called the emergency room as we sat in the parking lot afterwards. She told them what was happening and they said to wait a few minutes while they went to talk with the doctor on-call about what we should do. While we were waiting we headed to the McDonald’s drive through to get dinner. On the way to McDonald’s the hospital called and said that the doctor wanted us to come in for a quick check-up to make sure everything was fine. We ate our dinner real fast on the way to the hospital.
While we were getting out of the car and walking into the hospital your mother was extremely irritated. She was convinced that this was nothing and that we were going to have to pay for a visit that achieved nothing. After being admitted to the hospital, we headed to the fifth floor’s Labor and Delivery unit. They led us back through several winding halls to a “laboring room”, where a nurse greeted us. She immediately told us that if the leaking liquid was amniotic fluid we would have to stay at the hospital until mom gave birth to you. At only 32 weeks pregnant we were hoping that you would stay in a few more weeks. So, the idea of staying at the hospital that long was not pleasant. However, your mom was still convinced that we would be on our way home shortly. The doctor who checked mom to see if her water had broken had terrible bed side manner (ask us what his famous quote was…hopefully we’ll remember). He determined that the leaking fluid was indeed amniotic fluid. We immediately realized that we were going to be at the hospital for quite awhile. I think shock would be the appropriate word for our response. We felt completely unprepared emotionally and materially. We had virtually nothing for you at home, and now we were going to have minimal time to tie up the many loose ends.
For the next ten days your mother spent every hour of every day at Home Hospital, waiting for you to come. I stayed every night with her and slept on an air mattress in her room. She did a great job of waiting patiently for the first week. However, as the days wore on she started to get stir crazy. We wanted to wait as long as possible so that you were as fully developed as you could be, but living in the hospital was getting old very quickly. On Saturday, February 3rd your mom was struggling very much with the decision of whether to let the doctors induce your birth early the next week, let them induce her at the 36 weeks mark, or wait until you came naturally. After a lot of contemplation, she decided that it was not worth risking your health for her convenience. I was very proud of her decision, but I knew that the wait would be very hard on her.
Thankfully, you made the waiting very easy. All four of your grandparents had been up to visit and help with our kitchen remodeling. We ate Chinese food and watched Super Bowl previews in the hospital room, and then everyone headed back home for Sunday. A few hours later (late Saturday night) your mom started to have contractions. Her body was preparing for your arrival. The contractions started out weak and far apart; we weren’t completely certain whether or not this was real birth or just a prelude. I was completely worn out…so I tried to sleep. Within a few hours your mom told me to get up because she was having real labor and couldn’t have the lights off any more. That woke me up very quickly!
In the early hours of February 4th, we stayed in our home at room 5706. Your mother was in increasing pain as the contractions became stronger and closer together. I must admit that I felt completely powerless to help your mother. We had done a little reading on the “Bradley method” of childbirth (how to calm down a mother, relieve pain, understand what’s going on, etc.). Your mom really wanted to go through childbirth without an epidural or narcotics, and I had wanted to help her succeed. However, as the real process began I felt as though I could not help her at all. We sat in the dark, and your mother sang old hymns to herself as she rocked back and forth on the side of the bed during each contraction. From what I can remember, she sang “I Love You Lord”, “Pass it On”, “Sweet Holy Spirit”, “Sing to the King”, “Oh Holy Night” and several others. Your mom fought hard through the pain, but eventually it was bad enough that she requested an epidural. We would have to wait until she was 3cm dilated for them to give the anesthesia. In the meantime one of the nurses suggested controlled breathing, and that seemed to help. However, singing seemed to work the best.
The pain continued to get worse, and early on Sunday morning they moved us to room 5415, the room in which you would soon be delivered. I stepped outside for a few minutes to call our parents and aunt Sarah to let them know what was going on. Shortly thereafter Sarah arrived, followed by your uncle Kyle and aunt (not yet aunt at this point) Kim. It was around this time that the nurses gave mom a “birthing ball” to sit on. She only got to use it for a short time, but it seemed to really relieve her pain. Soon after that the anesthesiologist came to give her the epidural. We left the room for this part to avoid any passing out ( : Within probably twenty minutes the epidural was in and your mom was feeling much better. I was starving and mom needed her rest, so Sarah, Kyle, Kim and I headed to McDonald’s to get a quick breakfast while mommy tried to nap.
The next few hours were a little uneventful as births go. The pain seemed to be minimal as we waited for mommy to be 10cm dilated. In the early afternoon all of our family and friends began to arrive. The waiting room was absolutely packed with people awaiting your arrival; it was a neat sight. I felt blessed to have so many people who loved us and you. In the early afternoon the nurses told us that mommy was completely dilated and that you were on your way. They even could see that you had a lot of hair already! I was already starting to imagine what you would look like. Mommy and I both were especially curious if you were a boy or a girl. We would find out soon.
The actual pushing process was quite long. Mom pushed hard through countless contractions for several hours as Sarah, both of your grandmas and I encouraged her to keep going. I was assigned the task of counting to ten each time that she pushed. This seemed like a rather monotonous task to me, but your mom says that it really gave her a calm familiar voice to focus on as she pushed. As the process wore on I was really focused on helping your mom. The epidural started to wear off towards the end and she was in extreme pain. Again I felt helpless. As time wore on, mommy’s strength wore down and it became much harder to push. We tried several birthing positions, but none seemed to work very well. We knew that if it took much longer, they would start to seriously consider a C-section. That was the last thing we wanted. So, we both tried to focus and finish the process as soon as we could. Your mom did amazing in these last stages. She bore down and pushed as hard as she could, no matter how bad it hurt…she was ready to meet her child and put an end to the pain! With each push the nurses said that you were extremely close to coming out. However, since mommy was wearing down the doctor explained that she was going to try to help get you out with suction. I think this motivated mommy to push even harder. With the very next push, you were out and we welcomed you into the world. They looked you over quickly and then placed you on mommy’s chest. Believe it or not, they forgot to tell us whether you were a boy or a girl! Mommy was so anxious that she spread your legs open to find that we had a daughter!
I don’t think that I will ever be able to accurately convey the emotion that I felt in these moments. The best word would be “overwhelmed”. For almost nine months I had known that I was going to be a father, but it was suddenly very real. For the first time I was seeing and hearing the child that I had envisioned repeatedly. Tears poured out of my eyes and completely blurred my vision. All I could muster was “Oh my gosh. O my gosh.” I have never felt such extreme emotion in all my life. It was so amazing to see God’s creation and handiwork in my own child. Inexplicable love filled my heart, even though I had just met you. While I was overwhelmed with you, I was also beaming with pride for your mommy. She had fought through all of the emotion of the last few weeks and pain of childbirth and come out the other side with something that she had wanted for her entire life: a newborn baby of her own.
The doctors moved you over to weigh you, clean you, check your vital signs, etc. I didn’t want to leave your mom’s side, but she told me to go be with my daughter. I picked up the camera and moved over to the other side of the room. I started snapping my first pictures of you as the nurses worked on you. They determined that you were healthy enough to stay with us in the room. This was great news, because we were worried that you may need to go to the NICU for monitoring since you were premature. After a few minutes I went to go tell all of our anxious guests the news. I went into the waiting room with our new video camera so that I could tape everyone’s responses. None of them knew whether you were a boy or a girl, so everyone was very curious. Your mom and I had decided that I would tell them your gender but not your name. They would hear your name when they walked back to meet you and mommy. I waited a few minutes because your great grandma Bowling and uncle Marc had left the room for a few minutes. When they returned I started to make the announcement. However, I was so distracted by the emotion of the moment that I messed up. I said something like, “I’ll tell you guys the gender, but I won’t tell you her name”. From that slip up everyone knew that you were a girl. The room erupted with excitement. Everyone congratulated me and gave me many hugs. Soon after that I took both of your grandpas back to see you. They seemed very excited to meet you. Once they got back to the room mommy introduced them to “Ruby Elizabeth Goodwin”. Your grandpa Burke was especially proud of your name, because it was his mother’s name. Ruby Burke held a special place in all of the Burkes’ hearts and they were excited that you were carrying on her name. All four of your grandparents seemed to be amazed at the birth of their first grandchild.
A stream of family and friends came back to the room to meet you and hear your name. Everyone seemed so happy to finally meet you and see your pretty little swollen face ( : They were also happy that you had made it just in time for the Super Bowl ( : Everything seemed to be going very well.
However, within a few minutes one of the nurses took you from my arms and essentially ran with you over to the post-partum wing’s nursery. I was really confused what was going on, but I followed closely behind her through the halls. If I had understood the enormity of what was going on, I would have been overwhelmed. Your lungs were not supplying enough oxygen to your body. They immediately put electrodes on you to monitor your blood oxygen level and saw that it was dangerously low. They put a line of pure oxygen under your nose and the levels rose back up quickly. As your skin turned pink I realized just how grey-blue you were beforehand. They told me that you were going to need to be put in the NICU for monitoring. I went back to the delivery room to tell your mom what was going on. While I was in there she tried to stand up out of bed and get in a wheelchair. About halfway through the trip she fainted. Grandma Burke, a nurse and I helped brace her fall to the ground. I was terrified. My daughter was having trouble breathing and my wife had just passed out. Thankfully within a few seconds mommy was conscious again and talking to me. Once she seemed stable I headed back to the NICU to be with you. Neither mommy nor I wanted you to be alone in these first moments of your life.
I sat by your side in the NICU for hours straight. First they gave you an IV for antibiotics to avoid infection and put your head in a chamber that had a high level of oxygen in it to help elevate your blood oxygen levels. Over the course of the next few hours they pumped high pressure air into your nose and drained your stomach with a tube. They also gave you steroids to help strengthen your premature lungs. I stayed by your side through it all. There were a few points during this time where I couldn’t help but cry. My little girl was finally here, but I was having to watch her be hooked up to machines and pumped full of drugs. On top of that, your mommy was fainting and could not be there with us. Your grandpa Goodwin helped console me at one of the especially sad points. Within a few hours mommy’s condition improved to where she could come be with us. We were finally a family, even if we had to be in the NICU.
By the next morning the air tube was gone, and shortly thereafter they took the tube out of your stomach. Once you showed that you could regulate your body temperature they moved you to a “crib” at the front of the NICU. This is where we would spend the next five or six days with you. The nurses seemed to think that you had “reflux” which made you spit up on a regular basis. Mommy and I disagreed with them, but eventually this problem went away. Then your “billyrubin” levels were high, indicating that you had jaundice. You had to put on some cool purple goggles and sit under blue lights to help alleviate the problem. Those days in the NICU were especially rough on your mommy. She had spent ten days straight on bed rest in the hospital and now had to stay in the hospital six more with her daughter. She was discharged as a patient on Tuesday, so the hospital gave us a room in the rehab unit for the remainder of our stay with you.
On Friday, February 9th the doctors agreed that you were ready to go home. Our kitchen floor was not quite ready so we took you to Aunt Sarah and Uncle Zach’s house for the first night. It was such an amazing feeling to have you out in the “real world” and not hooked up to annoying machines and wires. All of our family stopped by to see you that night. The following day our kitchen was done and we arrived at home at last with our new bundle of joy! Our lives would never be the same again!
Looking back on your birth, I am thankful to God for the entire experience. I am thankful that there were ways to monitor both you and mommy after the leaking began. I am thankful that we had so many friends and family to keep mommy and I company for the countless days of bed rest. I am thankful that God brought you before the process drove your mommy crazy ( : I am thankful that mommy’s epidural worked so well. I am thankful that she did not need a C-section. I am thankful that all of our family and friends had ample time to arrive. I am thankful that an observant nurse saw your breathing problems. I am thankful that we had machines and medicine to help your lungs. I am thankful that you recovered quickly from your problems and met your milestones. I am thankful. I am thankful. I am thankful. God blessed us immensely with the gift of a daughter. I am extremely excited to watch both you and our family grow in the upcoming years as we follow God’s path for us.