not to us

I have not written here awhile.  I've done some work on the site, but it's all just been "back end" stuff to help it run smoother.  As I was working on the site tonight I came across the post that I wrote about Ruby's birth story.  While I enjoy that story immensely, it also made me realize that I haven't really written much about Burke.  So here it goes...

I absolutely love being a father.  I loved (and still love) being a father to my little girl.  It's cool to be an example of godly love to her and to provide a positive masculine influence in her life.  So, I do not want to diminish Ruby's importance in my life...

However, there is something really awesome about being a father to a little boy:

Every time I look into those blue eyes I think of his future.  I think of him learning how to talk. how to run. how to sing. how to dance. how to play sports. how to be fix things. how to drive. how to love God.  how to be a man.  I think about how he will look to me as his father for guidance, teaching, discipline, love and more...and it overwhelms me.  I want to be the best possible role model for him.  I don't want him to have to look to the world or other families for an example.

I want him to confide in me.  When he struggles with how to be a godly man, I want him to feel comfortable coming to me.  And I want to be able to provide godly advice.  When he is trying to decide where to go to school, what job to take, who to marry, etc. I want to provide the wisdom that helps him find the right path.

The miraculous nature of his very existence amplifies the responsibility that I feel to raise him right.  There is no earthly reason that my son should be here.  By all accounts he should have passed away weeks after Lindsay's water broke.  Yet God chose to pull him through impossible odds and blessed us with our second child.  As such, I feel that there's a HUGE purpose for Burke's life, and I don't want to do anything to screw it up!

There are times where I take Burke's life for granted.  I forget that he shouldn't be here.  I forget the amazing power that God demonstrated through his birth.  Then, every once in awhile, the magnitude of it all hits me like a ton of bricks.  I can't help but cry and say a prayer of thankfulness.  I pray that God will use Burke's life as a shining example of His presence.  I pray that He will help me guide Burke to whatever place He desires.  I basically pray that I do not get in the way.

Burke...there is an inexplicable bond between us.  My heart melts every time I hear you laugh and sing or see you take a step.  I hope that our relationship continues to strengthen as you grow up.  I hope that we have many fun times doing "guy" things...playing sports, fixing computers, camping, being wannabe "handymen", workdays at church, attending sporting events, fishing and more.  Above all else I hope that you become a man that loves God and lives for Him.

I love you little man!